Friday, September 26, 2008

Off the wagon

So, there's this thing I've been meaning to tell you. I've been talking about it with a few of my friends, in private, because I haven't really been sure how to break the news to people. I mean, I know you all love me, and you care about me, and you would never think of judging me. But still, this is the kind of thing that really defines you as a person, and I'm a little nervous about it, rightly or not. Normally, I feel like this kind of thing is personal, and I feel a little bit uncomfortable airing the lurid details of my personal life with you. But I care about you, a lot, and so I feel like it would be wrong of me to keep this from you any longer.

It's a bit of a sensitive topic for me, so I hope you'll understand why it's taken me so long to come clean. I mean, it's not every day that you make a big decision like this.

You see, well, there's this thing, and...

Oh, hell. No more stalling. Out with it.

I'm not a vegetarian anymore.

You know, I feel a lot better now that I've told you that. It's such a relief. I had no idea you would care so much about my dietary preferences, but I'm happy we can be honest about these things.

I've been doing my best to fit in and catch up. Check it out! I've even tried silkworm larvae -- I hear that's a fairly common pick among you carnivorous types, right?

And, while SonicLlama has already covered a lot of the details of our joint Korea trip, worry you not, I shall have details of my own forthcoming, shortly. As soon as I finish moving, and get my classes sorted out, and figure out how UCLA screwed up my funding (again!), and apply for fellowships, and...


  1. I am a little suprised. I know it was mostly a taste thing for you rather then a moral thing. And I know my taste has changed over time (not on corndogs though, I still love corondogs...) but this is such a seismic shift in taste that I think it took some of your friends by suprise.

  2. Okay, so today I am like 12. When I saw that picture and then read "I'm no longer a vegetarian," I thought it was a poop on a stick. That's right. I thought you were going to tell us that meat had made you constipated and you had proof. ::sigh:: I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's the changing of the seasons. Maybe it's too much football. Probably it's working with a bunch of urologists and urogynecologists, one of whom showed me a "poop scale" for constipation that she had use to interview people during her fellowship. It had pictures. Yes, they are both hilarious and gross. No, sadly no one wanted to publish the "poop scale" articles. I'm going to go drink some tea and try to grow up now.

  3. Wow...what a new and radical change for you.

  4. You know, going directly from "vegetarian" to "eating silk worm larvae," is sort of like going from being completely clean and sober, skipping over alcohol and weed, and just going directly to heroin. Congratulations.

  5. Yeah, I suppose it's a bit disingenuous for me to be surprised by this. And honestly, this is part of why I didn't experiment with non-vegetarianism while I was still in Eugene. I knew that it would be remarked on by a lot of people and it would be a particular hassle if I decided I still didn't like meat (being hassled for being a vegetarian was frustrating enough).

    But in LA, nobody knew my secrets, and I could reinvent myself however I chose. And so I decided to leap headlong into heroi... I mean, meat.

    And no, I have not, nor will I, try poop on a stick. Yuck.

  6. omg. you tried the worms. I hear they are awful. I won't trust llama's opinion because he *likes* fermented soy bean vomit.

    how were they?

  7. The silkworms were worth it for the experience and just about no other reason. Gamy and not very tasty -- we threw out about three-quarters of the cup we bought. Although they /were/ less disgusting than I was expecting...

  8. Welcome to the club! Next time I see you I'll buy you a burger. =D